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When it comes to your therapeutic relationship with your therapist, feeling safe, comfortable, heard, and understood are the foundation for creating that secure relationship. The bond that you make with your clinician will allow you to fully express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. I know that for many individuals, a fear of judgement is what can often stand in the way of reaching out to a professional for support so knowing and feeling like you will not be judged is so important. The question becomes, how do I know my clinician is the right fit for me? When determining if your clinician is the right fit for you there are a few important factors you may want to consider, and that we consider during our intakes! Their education and licensing: Each of our clinicians are licensed by their corresponding colleges and have completed all the necessary schooling and hours to provide you with the best care possible. That being said, depending on the insurance provider they may only cover you for a specific type of clinician. The best thing to do is to contact your provider to get all the necessary information. When trying to your best fit clinician, we try to consider your insurance coverage so you are not paying too much out of pocket. What you are navigating through: At Anchoridge Counselling we have a wide variety of clinicians who all bring forward many different skills and experiences. When working with a clinician, it is important to ensure their goals/experiences match up with your own personal goals and experiences. Your individual personalities: If you are someone who is very outgoing and social we want to make sure your clinician is someone who compliments that part of you, and vice versa! On the other end of the spectrum, if you are more introverted, goal oriented, loud, or even quiet we want your clinician to respect your boundaries and mirror your personality. This allows you to be more comfortable with your clinician by knowing they understand you and your mannerisms. Scheduling: You may have found the most perfect clinician but when you try to book in with them, your schedules never match up. That just means they may be a perfect clinician, but they are not the perfect clinician for you. Rather than trying to work around a clinicians schedule, you should try to find a clinician that fits into your schedule! Most importantly trust your gut: You may have been growing on our website or psychology today and found a profile of someone you instantly feel comfortable with. Or you have read their bio and find that their words relate to you on a personal level. Whatever the situation may have been…..trust your gut. If you feel that instant connection of feeling of safety, odds are that is the right clinician for you. What if I am not 100% sure from the start? Let’s say you have gone ahead and booked in consultations with a few different clinicians and you are now feeling overwhelmed because you have connected to more than one, or maybe even to none. Both are perfectly okay! Sometimes it takes a little more than a short 15 minute conversation to know if that is the right clinician for you. Here are some questions that you can ask yourself when trying to decide if you had a good connection or not: Did I feel accepted as I am? Did I feel understood, or were they at least trying to make an effort to understand me? Did I feel as though they cared about me and what I am navigating through? Did I feel comfortable disclosing personal details? Was I pretending to be someone else? Did I have to? Did I feel heard? Was I interrupted regularly? Was I being judged? Depending on your answers, you may have found your clinician! If the answers to these were not what you had hoped for do not be discouraged! Every client will ultimately find the right the clinician for themselves. You could have also been working with a clinician for a while but later on decide you no longer feel comfortable that is perfectly fine as well! You can always reach out to the admin at Anchoridge and they will work with and the Intake Coordinator to find a better suited clinician for you. Just remember, you do not have to stick with the same clinician if you no longer feel as though it is a safe space for you. Concluding Thoughts Now with all of this new information, hopefully you are able to determine if your current clinician, or future clinician, is the right fit for you! Remember, you do not have to make this decision alone. If you feel as though you need someone else to help determine the right clinician just reach out to our admin team and get yourself booked in for a free 15 minute intake session where you can express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Based on what is discussed the coordinator will make a recommendation for you! We do not want you to navigate through feelings of uncertainty or uncomfortableness alone. Your counselling journey should be one that brings a sense of calmness and your clinician should be doing the same. Wherever or whatever your path is, we want to be the ones to support you so reach out to us to begin your healing journey. ​ Thanks for reading, Dana Qablawi

Motherhood brings many mixed feelings including excitement, fear, worry, and happiness. It is also a time of immense change; including change in one’s identity and typical routines. Let’s be honest, being a Mom is a hard job that often goes unappreciated and it’s completely normal for it to feel overwhelming. There is often this vision of wanting to be the “perfect mom” but if we’re being honest, being the “perfect mom” means being there for not only your child but also for yourself. It’s common, and completely normal to have mood changes within the first 2 weeks after giving birth; some of these changes are related to hormonal shifts and the demands of motherhood including lack of sleep, but they may also be signs of postpartum depression so it’s important to know and understand these symptoms so you can reach out for support early on. If these symptoms get worse, it can become difficult for you to care for your baby or complete everyday tasks, and it may even lead to you having thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. Postpartum depression symptoms include: Feeling critical about those around you - including your partner. Your partner may feel like they can’t do anything right. Feeling angry and short-fused at all times. Experiences of joy are nonexistent or fleeting, no matter how hard you try to grab onto them. Not being able to live up to your own expectations of being a mom - never mind the expectations of everyone else Losing interest in the things you love: you don’t find yourself laughing at your favourite funny movie or participating in your hobbies Withdrawal: you pull away from loved ones instead of reaching out for help Difficulty with decisions: feeling unfocussed and overwhelmed when it comes to making even small decisions Changes in appetite: do you still enjoy your favourite foods? Do you still feel like eating? If you relate to one or more of these symptoms, or just want someone to talk to outside of your family, we are here to support you. Our goal is to help you navigate the often rocky transition to motherhood and all the feelings and challenges that it brings with it. Here at Anchoridge Counselling, we have clinicians who not specialize in postpartum depression but also understand what it’s like to be a mom. If you're seeking support, we have several clinicians who can help: registered social workers Jennifer Aubrey and Mary Katherine Lowes, as well as Registered Psychotherapist Carrie Connelly. Contact us today to book your complimentary intake assessment and get the support you need.

When you're living with chronic illness, it can dramatically impact your quality of life. You may feel limited in terms of your ability to work, do household activities, be a parent or caregiver. You may feel that you're letting others down by having to back out of commitments. You may feel that you're not good enough because you can't do what other people seem to be able to do so easily. However, it is possible to live well with chronic illness. Don't Let Your Condition Define You While you may identify with someone who has a particular illness or condition, don't let it define who you are as a person. If you're not sure who you are, sit down and journal on it. Odds are you are many things to many people. Our society tends to place a great deal of focus and value on productivity and wealth. That can make people who aren't able to work full time, or work at all, feel they are lesser than. But just because our society says it's the most important thing, doesn't mean it is. You have a lot to offer, beyond just what you do to fill your day. Maybe you make people laugh, or you're compassionate and caring. Maybe you're a good cook, or an excellent pet parent. Maybe you've intelligent and are great at sharing knowledge with others or coming up with new creative ideas. Maybe you're a talented artist or musician. Remember who you are as a person inside, and remind yourself every day that you are so much more than your illness or your day filler. Ask for Help If you are someone who has always been quite independent, but you are finding that you aren't able to do the things you used to do, it may feel quite difficult to ask for help. You may feel ashamed, but the truth is, the people that care will be happy to help you. In fact, for many people, helping others makes them feel good and they truly enjoy it. Start with something small. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable, but asking for help is a sign of strength. Seek Support Living with a chronic illness can feel all consuming. It can be hard not to worry about the "what ifs" and feel that other people just don't understand. Whether you join a support group for people with your condition, have regular coffee dates with a friend you trust, or seek counselling, seeking support is critical for your mental health. When you feel heard and understood, it also helps your body heal. Redefine Your New "normal" Maybe you used to work full time and now you spend most of your time at home, or maybe you used to spend all day minding the children on your own, without any help and very little time to rest or care for your own needs. When you're living with a chronic illness something has to give; you need to define your new "normal" and adjust your routine so that your body doesn't suffer from pushing it beyond it's means. Just like anyone else, you deserve a good quality of life. This may mean working part time instead of full time, asking for a loved one for to watch your children for the afternoon while you rest, or investing in treatments to help your body feel better such as massages. You may need more sleep, or to eat differently than you used to, and that's ok. Listen to your body and try to honour its needs for rest and nourishment. Whatever your new "normal" looks like, it's ok; don't let comparison with others, or other people's judgement make you feel less-than. You are simply honouring your body's needs and doing what is best for you. Set Boundaries For some people that have a lot of responsibilities such as running a business or someone who is an employee and expected to work overtime, setting boundaries is critical. Be firm and confident that this is what you need (no explanation needed) and that you would appreciate their understanding. This may look like having strict working hours of 9 to 5 or as a business owner, it may involve you asking a trusted employee to step up in your place when you're "off the clock" or on vacation. Maybe you're a stay at home Mom, but your family or in-laws like to pop in unannounced. It's important to set boundaries here as well, as you shouldn't have to entertain family when you're not feeling well, and pushing yourself beyond your limits will make you feel even worse. Let them know you value spending time together, but that you enjoy it more when it's planned ahead of time so you can ensure you're feeling your best. Setting boundaries helps you feel better both physically and emotionally. It can feel scary or awkward at first, but you'll find it gets easier with practice. Listen To Your Body In a society that honours fatigue and busy-ness as a badge of honour, it can feel almost rebellious, or make you feel guilty to honour your body's needs for rest, or unplugging from technology. And yet, it's critical for your health and mental wellness. This is part of what finding your new normal entails; if you're finding you need a nap mid afternoon, then plan your day accordingly. If you're finding you need to rest on the weekend rather than going to visit friends, then honour that. You may feel guilty, but ultimately your body will thank you. If you're finding living with a chronic illness is impacting your mental wellness, we are here to help. We have several clinicians who specialize in supporting people with chronic health conditions. To learn more about our clinicians that offer support for those with chronic illness click here. Book your intake call to get matched with the best clinician for your needs.

3 Affirmations for Queer Folks In a world where queer folks can often hear damaging and negative messages about who they are, it is important to hear and remember positive messaging that can help build us up. There are so many wonderful elements of being queer, and as I’ll mention again throughout the article, your queerness is beautiful - even in the face of negative messages. We want to help you remember all the things that make you so wonderfully and uniquely you. Below are three positive affirmations for queer folks, reminding you that you are valid in your queer identity, and that your queerness is beautiful. Your Queerness Doesn’t Have To Make Sense To Everyone If you find yourself feeling as though you don’t fit neatly into one specific label, your queerness is still valid! Labels can be a great tool for people to explain a part of themselves and their experience to others quickly. However, with that being said, if you don’t fit neatly into one category, that is okay! Labels work for us - we don’t have to work to fit into a label. The labels created by society are not a determining factor of who we are and our place in the world. The Pride Flag’s rainbow represents a spectrum of light when light shines through a prism. Rainbows in the sky don’t have rigid colours with clear ends and beginning. Instead, they are a beautiful spectrum of vibrant light and colour, just like the queer community, we exist on a spectrum. If your queerness doesn’t make sense to everyone, if you are still figuring yourself out, or if you don’t fit neatly into a category, you are still valid. Just remember, like a rainbow is beautiful….so are you. You Are Valid In Your Queer Identity Your queer identity is still valid even if you are privately identifying as an individual on the 2SLGBTQIA+ spectrum. Many individuals are private about their queer identity for various reasons such as fear of rejection, and safety. Even if you have people around you invalidating your queerness or brushing it off as “just a phase” that will eventually pass, know that your queer identity is valid. In the face of negative and invalidating messages about queer identity, it can be easy to internalize harmful ideas. When we are constantly being told our lives are not valid, it can start to have an impact on our confidence and our sense of worth. We are here to tell you that you are worthy of everything and anything. Your identity does not make you any less important or valid. Your queerness is good! There are so many messages out there that could cause queer folks to feel shame about themselves - I know I’ve heard my fair share! Let me remind you that your queerness makes you unique. Just by existing, you are challenging rigid and harmful norms, no matter where you are on the spectrum. For example, non-binary folks challenge norms that the gender you were assigned at birth determines characteristics about you and how you should fit into society! Secondly, queer folks have a long legacy of building up their communities and creating chosen families in the face of rejection. Lastly, existing authentically as yourself can invite others to do the same - whether or not they are queer! Your queerness is not wrong, shameful, or bad. Your queerness is beautiful. Concluding Thoughts Navigating the way the world responds to queerness can take a toll on your mental health. Whether you are navigating your coming out, life changes in the wake of coming out, discrimination, social pressures, or gender dysphoria, these factors can take a toll on your mental wellbeing. Here at Anchoridge Counselling Services, we have several counsellors who specialize in supporting individuals part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community and the unique hardships that come along with it. Additionally, all of our admins and clinicians are here to support you and make you feel welcomed and safe. We are a safe, judgment free, and inclusive environment who will always accept you for who you are! Regardless of where you exist on the spectrum, and regardless of whether or not you have invited your whole community, a few select friends, or even just yourself into knowing you fully, you are beautiful, you are valid, and your queerness is a part of what makes you so wonderfully you! To read more about counselling for 2SLGBTQIA+ folks at Anchoridge, please visit our 2SLGBTQIA+ Therapy webpage. If you have more questions or are looking to get matched with one of our clinicians for support please give us a call or book an appointment online! We are always here to support you and will do everything we can to provide you with a safe environment to find yourself, all while supporting you in ensuring you are loving yourself. If you're seeking support, click below to book your intake session below to get matched with a therapist and start your mental wellness journey today!

Relationships are hard! Sometimes getting an outside, non-judgmental perspective on your  relationship challenges can be helpful in building your connection with your partner. Before Starting Couples Counselling - Are You Both Ready? It is crucial to the success of your counselling journey that both parties are willing and comfortable with starting their counselling journey. If one partner is convinced to start couples counselling and isn’t really committed to their journey, it can be really difficult to achieve results. Make sure you have a conversation with your partner prior to reaching out to book counselling to make sure this is something that you both want and are willing to commit to. The Counselling Process: What to Expect The counselling process can look different for every couple but typically you would meet with your clinician as a couple for your first session. In this session the clinician might try to get to know you a little better and understand the reason behind seeking counselling as well as your therapeutic goals. They may ask you to share the story of how you met, or what you initially drew you to the other person. This can help remind you of the things you love about each other. Throughout the session the clinician will take turns asking each partner their thoughts and feelings on particular matters, in a respectful way, in order to get more insight into each persons perspective and typical ways of reacting to different types of situations, as well as ways of relating to others. The clinician will be a non-judgemental sounding board and third perspective; they do not "take sides", but rather, show an active interest in hearing both partners concerns and perspectives. After your first session, your clinician will recommend that each partner books in an individual session where each partner can speak freely about what is going on. This allows the clinician to build their relationship with each individual and to get to know them a little better. After you have both had individual sessions with the clinician you will come back together in your next session and continue to explore the presenting issues or concerns. The clinician may recommend individual sessions as needed throughout this process but typically after the first individual session, both members of the couple will come together for sessions. Benefits Of Couples Counselling There are several benefits to couples counselling even for those that aren’t presently struggling with anything in particular. These benefits include building better communication skills, getting an unbiased opinion, learning conflict resolution and gaining or restoring trust as well as building deeper intimacy. Part of this process involves working through and letting go of concerns from the past. The skills gained through couples counselling can help you build the proper foundation for a strong and healthy relationship. We are here to support you through your counselling journey and to help you strengthen your relationship with your partner by providing you with the tools and skills needed to overcome any challenges that come your way. Check out our clinicians that offer couples counselling by clicking here. Ready to take the first step towards a better relationship? Book your intake call today - a brief 15 minute call to get you and your partner matched with the best clinician for your needs.

Parenthood is a journey filled with moments of joy, laughter, and love, but it also comes with it’s fair share of challenges and uncertainties. As our children navigate the complexities of life, they may encounter obstacles that feel overwhelming or insurmountable. At times like these, therapy can be a valuable resource, providing support, guidance, and healing. Below are some tips for navigating these conversations with your child and your options here with us at Anchoridge Counselling Services! Understanding Your Child's Emotional Needs Children today face a myriad of challenges, from academic pressures, to social media influences, to personal struggles with mental health. As parents, it's essential to recognize when our children may need additional support beyond what we can provide at home. Signs that your child may benefit from therapy include: frequent outbursts of frustration or anger academic struggles changes in eating or sleeping patterns withdrawal from family and friends engagement in risky behaviours increased stress levels changes in mood or behaviour Navigating the Therapy Conversation If your child approaches you about wanting to start therapy, it's essential to respond with empathy, understanding, and an open mind. Validate their feelings and reassure them that seeking help is a brave and positive step towards healing. Encourage them to express their thoughts and concerns openly, and let them know that you're there to support them every step of the way. Children's Therapy Options at Anchoridge Anchoridge Counselling Services offers a specialized approach to child and adolescent therapy, drawing from art and play therapy, to help children explore, play, and get creative while working through deeper issues. Our clinicians are skilled in addressing a wide range of issues including trauma, depression, anxiety, ADHD, and behavioural challenges. Additionally, we provide parent consultations and family counselling to offer comprehensive support to both children and their families. Empowering Your Child's Mental Health Journey Therapy can be a transformative experience for children, providing them with a safe, confidential, and nurturing space to express themselves, explore their feelings, and develop coping skills. As parents, our greatest desire is to see our children thrive and flourish. When faced with challenges that feel too big to handle alone, therapy can provide the support and guidance needed to overcome obstacles and embrace a brighter future. If your child expresses a desire to start therapy, or if you notice signs that they may be struggling, don't hesitate to reach out for help. At Anchoridge Counselling, we're here to support you and your child every step of the way on their journey to healing and growth. Support for Parents As your child embarks on their therapeutic journey, we recognize the importance of supporting you, the parent, along the way. Our team at Anchoridge Counselling Services offers parent check-ins to address your concerns and provide insight into your child's progress. We also offer individual counselling to help you support your child's healing. You're not alone—we're here to assist you every step of the way. Click below to book your intake appointment to get your child matched with the best clinician for their needs. Click here to head to our children and adolescent therapy page to learn more and learn more about our child therapists.

As we begin to approach the holiday season I wanted to take some time to discuss the importance of prioritizing your own mental health. While the holiday season can bring about feelings of holly and jolly, it can also bring up feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress. Taking some time for yourself to prioritize your mental health this holiday season is important, especially when you may be surrounded by social events, gift giving, and travelling. ​ Why Does the Holiday Season Bring About These Feelings? There is no clear driving factor as to what brings about the development of these holiday blues but if we really break it down there is a lot that occurs during the holidays. The changes in time and weather may bring about seasonal affective disorder, excess social commitments, emotional and financial pressures, and even the criticism we may receive from our families. There are also many individuals who live apart from their families and are unable to see them over the season. This can bring about feelings of loneliness and stress. Regardless of the reasons, you are not alone in the feelings you experience over the holiday season. The important thing is to learn how to manage both mental and emotional health during this time of year through positive and healthy methods. When it comes to our mental health, it isn’t something that comes and goes and it is not a linear process. We may have been having a great couple of months but notice as we approach the holiday’s our mental health begins to take a turn. That is completely okay! When we talk about the holiday blues what we are really referring to is feelings of excess stress, often due to unrealistic exceptions around the holiday season. Finding the right methods to help you work through these feelings of frustration, sadness, fatigue, anxiety, loneliness, and many more are essential! Doing so will help to alleviate the stress you may be feeling and hopefully bring about a new perspective that will allow you to enjoy the season and the new year to come. ​ 5 Tips to Support Your Mental Health This Holiday Season Before we get into some ways to help manage stress during the holidays I wanted to take a moment and note that everyone is different. What may work for one person may not work for another and that is okay. We are all unique, our mental health is unique, and the circumstances around us are unique. It is all about finding what works for you. Tip 1: Set Aside Time for Yourself If you start to feel as though things are becoming too hectic, don’t be afraid to step away and take some time for yourself to destress. The holidays are often filled with jam packed schedules of plans and gatherings which can sometimes become mentally draining. Setting aside some time for yourself and prioritizing your needs is important. Setting aside time for ourselves can also allow us to implement our own holiday traditions. If you love to knit, then knit and make it part of your holiday festivities. Same with baking, cooking, spa days, or just anything that makes you happy and brings some holiday cheer! ​ Tip 2: Give Yourself Permission to Feel Your Emotions When you begin to feel an array of emotions, remind yourself that is is okay to feel them. By giving yourself permission to feel your emotions can go a long way. When we try to deny our emotions and feelings can actually harm us more than feeling our emotions. If you begin to feel as though your emotions are taking over, you can utilize some of these positive coping strategies: taking deep breaths, journaling, meditating, taking a nap, stepping back from a specific situation, and engage in some positive self-talk. ​ Tip 3: Be Patient With Yourself and With Others It’s important to keep in mind that it takes time, patience, and self-compassion to sort out complicated emotions and to understand the circumstances surrounding them. Slowing down our bodies and mind can help to bring down stress levels. You can do this by making deep breathing exercises a daily practice. Rather than becoming angry or irritated, work on viewing the situation through a new lens and responding with kindness even in tough situations Practice self-compassion this holiday season. We are more likely to be critical of ourselves when we feel down or ashamed. One way you can practice self-compassion this holiday season is by treating yourself as you would a friend—for example, use self-talk that includes comforting or affectionate words. Tip 4: Remember to Adjust Your Expectations Having expectations of how our holiday season will go is inevitable. Just remember that circumstances can change. If we set expectations too high, then it can be easy for us to be disappointed if things do not work out. The same can be said for setting expectations too low. If we stop ourselves from enjoying our time with friends, family, significant others, or even just ourselves, we can rob ourselves from a good time. It is okay to be excited and it is also okay to be disappointed, the main thing to remember is that circumstances and change and we can always turn things around. Tip 5: Know You Can Always Reach Out for Help Whether you are reaching out to a friend, a family member, a counsellor, or a support group, reaching out to talk can always help. Speaking to someone you trust can help to bring focus to any specific triggers and how to utilize healthy tools to overcome the negative feelings. For 24/7 help, ConnexOntario can offer free mental health support that is confidential. They can help by listening, offering support, and provide strategies to work through your circumstances. To contact them you can call 1-866-531-2600 or online chat through their cite. ​ We Are Always Here for You You can always call us at Anchoridge Counselling and we can get you booked in for a session with your clinician. You can always discuss the upcoming holidays with them and work to create a plan for when you are experiencing mental health struggles over the holidays. ​ Thanks for reading, Dana Qablawi

The holidays can be a time of togetherness celebrating with friends and family, reflecting on the year behind us and exploring our hopes and dreams for the year ahead. They can also be a challenging time of year for many, particularly those of us dealing with loss and grief. Loss and grief may come in many forms: the death of a family member or friend, going through a divorce, receiving a difficult health diagnosis, or the loss of a family pet, to name just a few. Our loss can be recent, or it can be one that we have been dealing with for several years. The impact will be much the same. In this post, we will focus on feelings of grief and loss following a death, although a lot of the concepts and coping strategies translate to other forms of loss as well. As we celebrate the holidays this year, we can’t help but compare them to previous years and notice everything that has changed. We might look around the table and see the faces that are missing. We might think of the year ahead and feel sadness that our loved one will not be here to share it with us, or guilt that we are here without them. We might feel like the rest of the world has moved on, where this is simply not an option for us. These feelings of loss and grief might also remind us of all the other losses we have experienced over the course of our lives. How To Enjoy The Holiday Season While Grieving Before we get into some ways to help understand loss and grief during the holidays, I wanted to take a moment and tell you that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Love does not end with death, and grief is not a problem to be solved. It is something that we can grow around, an experience that can be carried, if we are given the tools to build a life alongside our loss instead of being pressured to make that loss disappear. On that note, what works for one person may not work for another, and that is okay. The circumstances around your loss are unique, and your grieving styles are unique. It is all about finding what works for you. When "Things Feel Different": Lean In To Your Grief One of the hardest things when dealing with grief is feeling like the rest of the world has moved on and gone back to normal. This can show up in a lot of ways during the holidays. People might stop talking about your loved one and stop saying their name, whereas the sounds, sights and smells all around you trigger memories of them. People might pressure you to resume holiday traditions that feel empty or meaningless without your loved one. People might encourage you to join in the holiday spirit, whereas what you want to do most is to share what you’re going through in some way. At times, it might feel like you are living in a different reality from the people around you. During such times it can be helpful to remember that it’s okay for things to be different. In fact, things are supposed to be different. Loss changes us, and there is no going back – there is only going forward. Grief comes as a result of giving and receiving love. It is perfectly normal and part of the grieving process to hold space for our feelings during the holidays. Some ways that you can lean into your grief include: Changing holiday traditions or creating new ones. Finding big and small ways to celebrate the memory of your loved one and include them in the holiday season. Talking to those friends and relatives who will listen to your feelings of grief without judging you. Ignoring your grief won’t make the pain go away, but talking about it openly can make you feel better. For 24/7 help, ConnexOntario can offer free mental health support that is confidential. They can help by listening, offering support, and provide strategies to work through your circumstances. To contact them you can call 1-866-531-2600 or online chat through their site. How To Self-Soothe During Feelings of Overwhelm It can be helpful to remember that grief often comes in waves. There will be moments where you actively touch your grief, moments where you need to step away from it to engage in some self- soothing or distraction strategies, and moments where you give yourself permission to feel happy or at peace during the holidays and beyond. These are all important parts of the grieving process. While we do need to slowly feel our feelings in order to grieve fully, “grief bursts” (sudden, intense feelings of grief triggered by an expected or unexpected reminder of our loved one; normal but painful) can happen along the way. These often happen on their own timeline and not always in a place where it feels safe to explore our emotions. Some examples of things that can help us soothe the overwhelm brought on by grief bursts, and holiday events in general, include: Taking a time-out; for example, going to the bathroom to wash your hands Engaging in a distracting, comforting activity; for example, making a cup of tea Taking some deep belly breaths, or trying a grounding exercise Squeezing a stress ball or touching something soft; putting on hand cream Going outside, even if it’s just on our balcony or porch, and looking at something far away and then something up close Interacting with a pet Listening to music or watching a YouTube video ​ How To Get Through The Day: Conserve Your Energy Grieving is work, and at times it be exhausting. People are often surprised at how much energy it takes just to get up and get through the day. That is because grief affects you on a physical, cognitive and emotional level. During the holidays, it can be helpful to notice and respect your limits. This might look like ordering in takeout instead of cooking an elaborate meal for New Year’s Eve, or turning down invitations to loud, boisterous gatherings and suggesting meeting up with family members and friends in smaller, more peaceful environments instead. It might look like eliminating unnecessary stress or delaying certain decisions until the new year. Lastly, it might look like physically moving slower through the world, doing less and being kinder to yourself. What To Say When Someone Asks, “How are you?” Our society does not always handle death and grief well. People who are grieving have described things said to them after the death of their loved one that they did not find helpful and, in some cases, they found to be quite hurtful. This often has more to do with the other person’s comfort (or lack thereof) with grief and death, or it can be a clumsy attempt at offering support and encouragement. “How are you?” is a particularly difficult question to answer. In the midst of your own pain and confusion, you might feel put on the spot to report on your progress and manage other peoples’ feelings and expectations. It’s a question you might not know how to answer. The reality of grief is that sometimes right after the loss, we feel strong, but as time passes, and the reality of life without that person settles in, we feel weak and weepy. And it’s awkward to talk about. Below are some examples of responses to difficult questions you might find people asking you over the holidays, which I hope can help guide you in scripting your own. It can be helpful to remember that people often do want to support you, but just don’t know how, and that explaining your needs does not take away from the love and support that you will receive. “How are you?” “Thanks for asking. Honestly, it is hard, and I find it helps to talk about my memories of my loved one. Do you have some time to listen?” “That looks like a sweater so-and-so used to have. Oh, sorry about that.” “Sometimes people worry that bringing them up will make me sad, but it actually helps to hear people say their name, so please keep doing it.” “It’s been six months. You need to get over this.” “You might have taken less time to recover from your own loss, and so it might seem like I’m taking a long time, but I’m just taking the time I need for myself.” “It’s not healthy to drag things on like this.” “I appreciate your concern. It helps to know people are thinking of me. I’m grieving in my own way on my own time.” “I know you’re having a hard time, but we really need to get ready to sell the house.” “I’m not ready to sort through their things just yet. Thanks for your patience. I know it needs to be done and I’ll get there, so can you ask me again in a few weeks?” “Please let me know if there is anything I can do.” “One of the hardest things is the loneliness. I’d find it helpful to be invited out to things or to have someone with me to visit the cemetery. Can you help with any of those things?” We Are Always Here for You You can always call or email us and we can get you booked in for a session to discuss feelings of loss and grief over the holidays and beyond. ​ Thanks for reading, Marina Machado (RSW, MSW)

February isn't just for couples in love, it's about self love, too! In this blog we'll share our top tips for self care practices that allow you to have more love for yourself, which can have a dramatic impact on your mental wellness journey. Self Compassion & Self Talk Try tuning into the things you tell yourself throughout the day - would you say that to a friend? Once you recognize some of the negative things you may be telling yourself (self-defeating thoughts), journal or think through what you can replace them with (self-affirming thoughts). Maybe instead of "I'm so lazy." you can replace it with "When I'm tired or overwhelmed, I deserve to take a break and rest." Instead of "I'll never be able to do this." replace it with "I believe I can succeed." Notice how you feel when you replace self-defeating thoughts with self-affirming thoughts. Happier? More calm? Check out one of our Anchor Bookshelf reads: Self Compassion and her related workbooks. Celebrate You Journal on what you love about yourself. If it's hard to come up with something, think about things that people have complimented you on. Maybe that you're hard working, or that you have a big heart and you're a good friend. Maybe it's your amazing cooking or baking. Maybe it's that you're a good role model for your kids or nephews and nieces. Celebrate what makes you, you! The more you focus on the things you love about yourself, instead of fixating on the things that you don't like, the more you'll build self love, self esteem and confidence. Affirmations First, think about how you want to feel. Then, create 1 to 3 sentences that resonate with you. This could be something like "I am strong. I am capable. I deserve happiness." This is an affirmation which can be helpful in reprogramming your inner self talk and beliefs about yourself. Some people find it helpful to write it down on a sticky note and put it on the bathroom mirror, fridge, set a reminder on your phone, or somewhere you'll see it several times per day. If you need some ideas to get you started, check out these self love affirmations from Oprah Daily. Schedule in Time for the Things that Bring You Joy What makes you feel good? We all know what we like to do, but how often do we make time for it? Making time for the things that bring you joy is telling yourself that your happiness matters, and the more you do it, the more you'll notice your mood improve! So what makes you feel good? A walk on a trail with your dog? Coffee with a friend? Reading a good book? Put it into your calendar for this week and make it a non-negotiable. Listen To Your Body Instead of pushing your body to its limits, which can lead to symptoms of burnout including lack of motivation, headaches, fatigue, feeling numb or zoned out, instead try tuning into what your body is telling you and honouring it's needs for rest, nourishment, connection or time alone. What is your body telling you today? If you have symptoms like a headache or stomach ache it's often trying to communicate with you. But don't overwhelm yourself with trying to change too many things at once - pick one small change and practice it as often as you can until it becomes a habit, and then try adding something else. Be sure to celebrate every small win you have along the way! Set Boundaries A big part of self love and self respect is being able to set boundaries. That can include both work and your personal life. Boundaries make it easier for you to reserve your energy and mental resources for the things that matter most to you, instead of feeling drained by the demands of others. It can feel uncomfortable and scary at first if you're not used to it. But once you start doing it you'll notice how much better you feel. Most importantly, remember that we are here for you when you need support! Book your free intake appointment today to get matched with a clinician and start your counselling journey.

Taking that initial step towards counselling can be very nerve wracking. But it is something you should also be very proud of! The first question clients typically ask at the start of their journey is “what are the different types of mental health care providers?” It can be overwhelming trying to differentiate between the different professions so we are going to break it down and go through them. This way we can get a better understanding of the different professions and their roles. Before we begin it is important to note that social workers, psychotherapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists are all regulated professions. What is a Regulated Profession? When we refer to a profession as regulated, that means that the job requires a certain level of education and training. This is to ensure that the services provided are conducted in a safe, professional, and ethical manner to benefit the general public. Let's break down the differences between different types of regulated mental health professionals. Social Workers To become a social worker an individual must obtain a Bachelors of Social Work undergraduate degree. They can then complete a Masters of Social Work degree and can become registered through the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers. (MSW, RSW) You can typically find social workers working in hospitals, social service agencies, community centres, schools, and even private practice, like us. Often times, counselling sessions with social workers can be claimed by insurance, but every insurance plan is unique, so check with your employer. ​ Psychotherapists Psychotherapists are registered with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO). They are required to complete an undergraduate program and master’s degree. This typically means they can have a variety of educational backgrounds for their undergraduate but then have completed a master’s in counselling. To be registered with the CRPO, psychotherapists must complete 450 hours of direct client work and 100 hours of clinical supervision. While they are practicing with supervision, they are a registered psychotherapist qualifying (RPQ). Once they have completed their supervision hours and exam they become a Registered Psychotherapist (RP). Often times, counselling sessions with psychotherapists can be claimed by insurance, but every insurance plan is unique, so check with your employer. ​ It is important to note that while Social Workers and Psychotherapists can provide counselling services and use a number of treatment modalities, they are not able to provide a diagnosis or prescribe medication. How Social Workers and Psychotherapists Practice Both social workers and psychotherapists use "talk therapy" and use similar therapeutic approaches including cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), EMDR and more. They often give "homework" - worksheets or other mindset practices to help their clients with making change towards their mental wellness goals. They may also recommend specific books, courses, support groups or other resources to support their client. Psychologists Psychologists are mental health professionals who have received a doctorate degree in the field of psychology. Just like a psychotherapist, a psychologist must complete a certain number of supervised hours. In terms of supervision hours, psychotherapists require 100 hours of supervised work whereas psychologists require 1500 hours of supervised clinical work. Along with the clinical work, a psychologist must also complete written and oral examinations before they can become registered. One of the differences between social workers and psychotherapists versus psychologists is that psychologists are able to provide a diagnosis, complete psychological assessments. These assessments include emotional and behavioural disorders, learning disabilities as well as Autism spectrum disorders. Psychologists also offer talk therapy. The main difference between psychologists and psychiatrists is that psychologists are not able to prescribe psychoactive medication (such as antidepressants) to their clients. Psychiatrists When we refer to someone as a psychiatrist we are referring to a medical doctor. They would be required to attend medical school, just like a family doctor would. When it comes to their residency, they would specialize in the field of psychiatry. The field of psychiatry is a branch of medicine that focuses on diagnosing and treating emotional and behavioral disorders, learning disabilities as well as Autism spectrum disorders. Just like a psychologist, psychiatrists are able to diagnose mental health conditions, but the main difference is they are able to prescribe psychoactive medications. Most psychiatrists do not offer talk therapy. It is important to note that out of all the professions we spoke about, psychiatrists are the only ones who would be covered by OHIP in Ontario. We Are Here for You Here at Anchoridge, we offering counselling with both registered social workers and registered psychotherapists. Each profession includes their own strengths, skills, and scope of practice. For therapy to be effective, it's important to feel comfortable and a good connection with your therapist. Our intake process is designed to match you with the right clinician so you can get the most out of your sessions. The ultimate goal is that you feel comfortable with your clinician and supported throughout your journey. Ready to get started on your mental wellness journey? Book your intake call today by clicking below. ​

As we begin to approach the holiday season I wanted to take some time to discuss the importance of prioritizing your own mental health. While the holiday season can bring about feelings of holly and jolly, it can also bring up feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress. Taking some time for yourself and your mental health this holiday season is important, especially when you may be surrounded by social events, gift giving, and travelling. Why Does the Holiday Season Bring About These Feelings There is no clear driving factor as to what brings about the development of these holiday blues but if we really break it down there is a lot that occurs during the holidays. The changes in time and weather may bring about seasonal affective disorder, excess social commitments, emotional and financial pressures, and even the criticism we may receive from our families. There are also many individuals who live apart from their families and are unable to see them over the season. This can bring about feelings of loneliness and stress. Regardless of the reasons, you are not alone in the feelings you experience over the holiday season. The important thing is to learn how to manage both mental and emotional health during this time of year through positive and healthy methods. When it comes to our mental health, it isn’t something that comes and goes and it is not a linear process. We may have been having a great couple of months but notice as we approach the holiday’s our mental health begins to take a turn. That is completely okay! When we talk about the holiday blues what we are really referring to is feelings of excess stress, often due to unrealistic exceptions around the holiday season. Finding the right methods to help you work through these feelings of frustration, sadness, fatigue, anxiety, loneliness, and many more are essential! Doing so will help to alleviate the stress you may be feeling and hopefully bring about a new perspective that will allow you to enjoy the season and the new year to come. Finding Ways to Positively Manage Your Mental Health This Season Before we get into some ways to help manage stress during the holidays, I wanted to take a moment and note that everyone is different. What may work for one person may not work for another and that is okay. We are all unique, our mental health situations are unique, and the circumstances around us are unique. It's all about finding what works for you. Tip 1: Set Aside Time for Yourself If you start to feel as though things are becoming too hectic, don’t be afraid to step away and take some time for yourself to destress. The holidays are often filled with jam packed schedules of plans and gatherings which can sometimes become mentally draining. Setting aside some time for yourself and prioritizing your needs is important. Setting aside time for ourselves can also allow us to implement our own holiday traditions. If you love to knit, then knit and make it part of your holiday festivities. Same with baking, cooking, spa days, or just anything that makes you happy and brings some holiday cheer! Tip 2: Give Yourself Permission to Feel Your Emotions When you begin to feel an array of emotions, remind yourself that is is okay to feel them. Giving yourself permission to feel your emotions can go a long way. When we try to deny our emotions and feelings, this can actually harm us more than feeling our emotions. If you begin to feel as though your emotions are taking over, you can utilize some of these positive coping strategies: taking deep breaths, journaling, meditating, taking a nap, stepping back from a specific situation, and engage in some positive self-talk. Tip 3: Be Patient With Yourself and With Others It’s important to keep in mind that it takes time, patience, and self-compassion to sort out complicated emotions and to understand the circumstances surrounding them. Slowing down our bodies and mind can help to bring down stress levels. You can do this by making deep breathing exercises a daily practice. Rather than becoming angry or irritated, work on viewing the situation through a new lens and responding with kindness even in tough situations Practice self-compassion this holiday season. We are more likely to be critical of ourselves when we feel down or ashamed. One way you can practice self-compassion this holiday season is by treating yourself as you would a friend—for example, use self-talk that includes comforting or affectionate words. Tip 4: Adjust Your Expectations Having expectations of how our holiday season will go is inevitable. Just remember that circumstances can change. If we set expectations too high, then it can be easy for us to be disappointed if things do not work out. The same can be said for setting expectations too low. If we stop ourselves from enjoying our time with friends, family, significant others, or even just ourselves, we can rob ourselves from a good time. It is okay to be excited and it is also okay to be disappointed, the main thing to remember is that circumstances can change and that, no matter what happens, you get to choose how you want to feel. You can still have a good time, even if things don't go according to plan. Tip 5: Establish Boundaries Learn to say no to extra commitments or activities that will overwhelm you. Set clear boundaries with family and friends about what you can and cannot handle. If there is a challenging part of your life that you're dealing with and don't wish to discuss, let your loved ones know ahead of time. Tip 6: Delegate & Ask For Help You don't have to do everything on your own. If you're hosting an event, delegate tasks to family members or friends to share the workload. That way you can feel less frazzeled and are more likely to actually enjoy yourself after all your hard work. Tip 7: Stick to a Budget Financial stress can be a significant source of holiday anxiety. Set a budget for gifts, decorations, food and festivities and stick to it, to avoid overspending and the stress that comes with it. When it comes to gift giving, it may be necessary to speak to loved ones to set clear boundaries on how much each person will spend. Extended families with young children may choose to only give gifts to the children and not the adults, to avoid overspending. Tip 8: Practice Mindfulness Take a few moments each day for mindfulness practices such as writing down 3 things you're grateful for, deep breathing or meditation. This can help you stay present, reduce stress, and improve your overall welbeing. If you want to try breathwork or meditation but aren't sure where to start, search for a guided meditation on your favourite music platform or YouTube. Tip 9: Celebrate in Moderation While it's tempting to indulge in holiday treats every time they're offered, try to maintain a balance. Ensure you're still eating regular, balanced meals outside of holiday events - this can help keep your blood sugar stable which helps with mood and prevents strong cravings. Overeating and excessive drinking can contribute to feeling physically and mentally unwell, including feelings of guilt or shame. Alcohol use can also worsen sleep and mental health. Tip 10: Connect with Loved Ones Reach out to friends and family for support. Share your feelings and let them know how they can help. Sometimes, just talking about your feelings can be therapeutic; it helps you feel heard, understsood and cared for, and as humans, we all need to feel that way. Tip 11: Create New Traditions If old traditions are causing stress, consider creating new ones that align with your current circumstances and priorities. If finances are tight, perhaps instead of a gift exchange you do a cookie exchange, a gingerbread house building contest or go skating. Tip 12: Laugh and Have Fun Don't forget to have fun! Watch a funny movie, play games, or engage in activities that bring joy and laughter. Laughter naturally boosts the body's feel-good endorphins as well as mood boosting serotonin and dopamine. It also creates connection and a sense of bonding with those you love. Remember, the holidays are about spending time with loved ones and creating positive memories. By taking care of yourself and implementing these strategies, you can navigate the season with greater ease and enjoyment. Know You Can Always Reach Out for Help Whether you are reaching out to a friend, a family member, a counsellor, or a support group, reaching out to talk can always help. Speaking to someone you trust can help to bring focus to any specific triggers and how to utilize healthy tools to overcome the negative feelings. For 24/7 help, ConnexOntario can offer free mental health support that is confidential. They can help by listening, offering support, and provide strategies to work through your circumstances. To contact them you can call 1-866-531-2600 or online chat through their cite.

Many people start to notice feeling more down or a shift in their general mood when the days get shorter and darker. Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D) is a form of depression that affects 2 to 3% of people from the fall to the spring. If often starts with the time change in the fall due to less sunlight exposure. It's also referred to as the "winter blues", even though it tends to start in the fall. S.A.D differs from typical depression as it only tends to affect the person from the fall to the spring, whereas typical depression is year round. However, it is possible to have depression as well as S.A.D. Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder include: - feeling more tired than usual - withdrawal from normal activities you'd enjoy - changes in appetite (less or more) - feeling more irritable or short tempered than usual - low motivation, or poor ability to focus - wanting to sleep more than usual, or difficulties with sleep Many of these are symptoms of depression, but if you only feel this way from the fall to the spring, it could be S.A.D. Scientists aren't sure exactly what causes S.A.D, but it's thought that a lack of sun exposure could affect the levels of brain chemicals that impact mood, such as serotonin. It's thought that deficiencies in vitamin D may also contribute to low mood and S.A.D, as especially in more northern climates, our skin has much less exposure to sunlight in the fall and winter months; the main way our body produces vitamin D. If one of your symptoms is insomnia, know that lack of sleep in and of itself can also contribute to low mood and depression. There's no need to suffer; you deserve to feel good all year round. Living with untreated S.A.D would mean almost half your life is spent suffering. S.A.D can keep you from enjoying all that the colder months have to offer; quality time with friends and loved ones, playing in the snow, enjoying a cup of cocoa or a crackling fire and a good book. How to manage Seasonal Affective Disorder - counselling: talking about your concerns helps ease the burden on your mind, helps you feel heard and understood, which is critical for mental wellbeing. It also gives you insight into mental patterns that may no longer be serving you and may be contributing to your low mood. - support from family and loved ones: humans are social beings; we crave connection and support from others. It supports our self worth and makes us feel more capable to deal with the hard times. It may be tempting to retreat into yourself and feel that you don't want to "be a burden" to loved ones, but those that truly care will be happy to be there for you. - exercise: try to make a lunch time walk a habit to get sun exposure. Moving your body is proven to boost your mood and help you achieve deeper, more restorative sleep. - light therapy: exposure to bright light (full spectrum, 10,000 lux or higher) in the morning can help boost mood and reset your circadian rhythm - your body's natural sleep-wake cycle. - get on a regular sleep schedule and work on sleep hygiene: keep your room cool, dark and quiet, avoid screens 2 hours before bed, avoid alcohol and eating before bed. Your body likes routine; try to go to bed at the same time every night, and wake up around the same time each morning. Research shows you may need one or two extra hours sleep in the winter months. If you're struggling with getting to sleep or staying asleep, try practicing deep breathing or meditation before bed. - morning sunlight exposure: try to get as much light exposure as you can, especially in the morning. This sets your circadian rhythm and regulates your hormones that control your sleep wake cycle as well as your mood. - medication (antidepressants): if you've tried the above and you still find yourself struggling, you may wish to try medication, if it's recommended and prescribed by your doctor. If you're struggling with depression, or with what you think might be S.A.D we are here to help. Book your free intake call today to get started.